This is one of the practices I return to most often with clients in coaching sessions. RAIN is a mindfulness-based tool for staying with difficult feelings rather than suppressing or reacting to them. I use it as both an on-the-spot practice during moments of intensity and as a daily practice to build emotional steadiness over time.
We do not run away from challenging situations. We run away from the intense feelings that the situation evokes.
Most of us have not been taught the skill to stay with our feelings. We either suppress, repress, or express our feelings without really understanding the message they are bringing forth to our awareness.
This guide is for clients to whom I have introduced RAIN in a session. It covers the foundational RAIN practice: what it is, how to do it, and how to integrate it into your life to build emotional resilience.
What is the RAIN Practice?
The practice of RAIN offers a tool to connect with ourselves, to sit with what is alive in us in the present moment, and to train ourselves to treat our feelings as messengers and friends.
RAIN stands for:
The four components
Recognise
The body is our biggest tool for grounding ourselves. Every thought, feeling, or situation expresses itself not just in the mind but also in the body as sensations. When a particular feeling is sticky and refuses to budge, it presents itself as strong sensations in the body.
In the R of RAIN, we turn attention to how the thought expresses itself as sensation. We attend with curiosity.
Where does the sensation express itself? Does it have a shape, texture, or colour? Does it seem solid or does it keep changing?
Allow
When challenging feelings arise, the instinct is to wish the discomfort away. We have not trained ourselves to lean into discomfort instead of running from it.
In the A of RAIN, we allow the sensation to be present. We give it permission to take as much space as it needs. By giving it permission, we implicitly acknowledge our capacity to hold space for whatever comes up.
Inquire
Feelings and sensations in the body are messengers. They are not the message itself. In the I of RAIN, we inquire into the sensation with care and curiosity about the message.
Once we make the inquiry, we stay present and patient, waiting for the sensation to respond. The message might come as silence, thoughts, images, or sounds.
What are you trying to convey? What do you need?
Nurture
Nurture is a powerful way to acknowledge oneself and offer acceptance. In the N of RAIN, we offer nurturing to the sensation and to ourselves, unconditionally.
This might be in the form of words: "I love you", "I accept you the way you are", "I thank you for offering me this message." Or as warmth sent to the sensation, a gentle touch, or a quiet internal hug.
When to use RAIN
When a situation evokes intense feelings that threaten to overwhelm, RAIN on the spot helps you stay in touch with the feeling, understand its message, and respond rather than react.
Used at the start or end of the day, a daily RAIN practice builds the familiarity and comfort that makes it available to you quickly when you need it most. Like training in peacetime so you can respond in a fight.
How to practise
- Self-guided Take yourself through each of the four steps. The key is to attend to yourself with curiosity, care, and compassion.
- Guided audio Guided recordings in my voice are coming. I will add them here when they are ready.
- Posture Any posture that is comfortable for you. Sitting, lying down, walking. There is no prescribed posture.
After RAIN
You can journal what came up in short bullet points, or simply rest in the space of awareness and go about your day. In a live session, I do a short reflection with the client so they can integrate the insights from the practice.
When it feels hard
If you find it hard to go through all four steps, start only with R. Set a timer for 2 minutes and stay with the sensation. Do this regularly, and as you get comfortable, slowly incorporate A. RAIN does not need to be done all at once.
Benefits
Emotional regulation
Recognise and Allow interrupt habitual avoidance patterns by leaning into discomfort. This creates a pause between stimulus and response.
Reduced stress and anxiety
Inquire invites curiosity rather than threat appraisal. Nurture counteracts the self-criticism that fuels rumination.
Self-compassion
Nurture explicitly introduces warmth and kindness towards oneself, strongly associated with lower burnout and greater resilience.
Cognitive flexibility
Mindfulness increases meta-cognitive awareness, helping us see thoughts as events rather than facts.
Clearer decision-making
RAIN slows reactive loops before action, developing the ability to respond rather than react under uncertainty.
A note on trauma: If you have a trauma history, try this practice first with a professional. The sensations can sometimes get overwhelming. In sessions with clients with trauma history, I adapt the practice with emphasis on choice, titration, and safety. If you find RAIN challenging, please bring it to your therapist or to me.