Over the past many weeks, I've been writing about sponsorship and its pivotal role in career advancement, not just in senior roles, but also in junior and middle management roles. Yet there's another word that travels invisibly with 'sponsorship' and that is 'networking'.
'I don't like networking.'
'I am nobody. I can't talk to senior people.'
'What will I go and ask these people?'
'How can I ask leaders to be my sponsor? What if they ignore me?'
Networking is a word most of us loathe, because we are thinking of it as a transaction, devoid of any real connection. We think we have to market ourselves to people senior to us, build visibility within and outside our network, make ourselves and our work known to people who matter, advocate for ourselves endlessly. This is exhausting and tiring, especially if you are not naturally inclined to do all these things.
Thankfully, this is not the kind of networking that is needed to find a sponsor, or that will let the right people endorse you in rooms and conversations that matter.
Now, think of another word. Relationships.
Many of us have friends at work. They are either peers or team members. We trade jokes, buy each other a cup of coffee, hear each other vent, help each other with work. We are not networking. We are building relationships. In many cases, these friends help us find jobs when we get laid off, introduce us to their own network, and put in a good word for us when they move into positions of influence.
We are human beings, and connection is an important need in our lives, no matter what our inherent nature is.
When seniority and networking become intimidating
When we think of building a relationship of sponsorship with someone, we imagine two things: seniority and networking. These two words together become so intimidating that we would rather put off the idea of finding a sponsor.
I invite you to dig into your beliefs to see how you perceive people in authority, people with power and people in a position above you who can influence decisions about you.
How are you seeing them? As human beings, or as objects?
Seeing others as human beings
When we view another person as a human being, we are able to accept their vulnerabilities, shortcomings, and we are able to see this person beyond the role they carry. When I see my boss as a human being, I won't be very critical when they claim to not know something, when they exaggerate, or when they get angry. I'll know and accept that this is the human part of them, and it may not all be 'personal'.
Seeing others as objects
When I view the other person as an object, I am seeing them as their role. I see my boss as a person wielding absolute power and authority, who should not falter or express any emotion that brings me discomfort, who should be technically superior, kind and compassionate in all circumstances, have no biases and in essence be the perfect authority figure who leads with empathy. There is no way I am going to excuse any failing in them. When I view my boss in this manner, every small reaction of theirs becomes personal and affects my self-esteem. I begin to see this person as someone I would rather not know personally or have anything to do with. They become the 'role', and not 'human'.
Relationships over transactions
When we perceive people as their roles, and don't look at their humanness, it becomes hard to build relationships with them. In career advancement, you don't need to network so much as build relationships. If you view your boss or senior colleagues as only their roles, it becomes hard to build a relationship that is mutually beneficial. When we view others as objects or roles, our interactions become transactional, and most of the time we are looking to receive, rather than give.
This is one question that I want you to reflect on today. How do you perceive people with more power, authority and status than you? As roles, images, objects or as human beings?
Frequently asked questions
What is the difference between networking and building relationships at work?
Networking is often perceived as transactional, focused on self-promotion and building visibility with people who can help your career. Building relationships is about genuine human connection, where you see colleagues and leaders as people rather than roles. Relationships are mutual, and they naturally create the conditions for sponsorship and career support without the exhausting performance that traditional networking demands.
Why does networking feel so exhausting for most professionals?
Networking feels exhausting because most people approach it as a performance. They believe they must market themselves, build visibility with senior people, and constantly advocate for their work. This transactional mindset strips away genuine connection and turns every interaction into a calculated exchange. When you shift from networking to relationship-building, the pressure drops because you are simply being human with another human being.
How does viewing leaders as human beings help with finding a sponsor?
When you view leaders as human beings rather than as their roles, you can accept their imperfections and connect with them authentically. This removes the intimidation that makes approaching senior people feel impossible. Authentic connection creates the foundation for sponsorship, because sponsors endorse people they genuinely know and trust, not people who performed a networking routine at them.